Throwing in the Towel

Well, I have gotten to a point in my re-cognition of Jesus in me that I cannot deny Jesus to anyone in the world anymore. I explained this to Pioneer credit or whatever entity that is seeking for me to pay them for a college loan taken out to pay for college creditials that I never recieved because of their fraud as shown by the courts back in those days.
I, yesterday had a second attack at my heart by some force that I cannot find the faith to seek into.
I could only cry out to God and ask for relief without finding it. Instead I hope that by what my suffering portrays, I hope that maybe someone could have walked by and saw the wrath they are seeking to be present in those unable to accept the wrath of God in their own flesh, for the sins of the wickedness that has ruled over humanity for so long. Though I know that God doesn’t seek my harm or hurt it is only in submission to such pain and suffering being publicly acknowledged that certain of my vessels find the courage to exemplify the glory of salvation that I have brought them to experience by the joy they recieve from their seeing my own torture. A blasphemous tradition set to stage by the religion of Christianity not to the full Glory of God but to the fullness of the glory being sought by the Christian religion without God! For certainly everyone knowing God would fully acknowledge the fact that God chose his son to die but only once and after that never to suffer much less die, again!
Let the Churches take notice and my glory be restored not rebuked or suffered by any aspirations of creatures not living out the very divinity of God. If this is not to be found accomplished in this world then I have come here in vain and quickly hope toward my exit from it without discrediting the Jesus alive in me.

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